Breakfast anyone? photo credit www.averagebetty.com

I dragged my kids to see “Toy Story 3” with me today.  Wait.  What’s wrong with that sentence?  It wasn’t like pulling their teeth, but they’d already seen it.  I hadn’t and if given the choice, they would have stayed in their pajamas all day and drooled on the couch watching reruns of “iCarly”, but here’s the thing: I didn’t give them the choice.  I hauled them off late morning to hang with Woody, Buzz, Jesse and Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head.

Naturally, I snuck in my own treats in a small backpack I used just for the crime.  I don’t advocate breaking their very obvious rules – “Please no outside food and drink” – but they charge about $12 for a popcorn that quite possibly could kill a person on the spot, so I opted for little sandwich bags of Trader Joe’s Kettle Corn and peanut butter pretzels.  Problem is, though Goldie, Bun Bun and I are like camels and can go without liquid far too long, Miss T is always in need of a beverage and the snacks I brought were salty.  Smack dab in the middle of one of the Sunnyside Daycare scenes, Miss T informed me that she was going to die if she didn’t get something to drink.  I snuck out quickly to the concessions and waited patiently (not) behind a woman telling her son that he couldn’t have candy.  “It’s too early,” she informed him.  It was around noon.  Her son begged her.  No, she repeated, “It’s too early for candy.”

Instead of making a judgment on what the woman said, I smiled.  I heard myself speaking to my own children.  “It’s ten-thirty in the morning,” I’ve said to Bun Bun when she wanted a homemade chocolate chip cookie, as if telling her the time would immediately convince her that she’d made an unreasonable request. I’m always confident they never see ME having cookies in the morning with my coffee, though it’s happened dozens, dare I say, hundreds, of times.  Because, you know, for me the cookies demand to be eaten as soon as I wake up in the morning.  It’s practically why coffee was invented – to be consumed with something sweet.  (I also like the effect it has on opening my eyes and inspiring me to sing songs upon awakening like “Oh What a Beautiful Morning” and “So Happy I Could Die”.)

I bought water for Miss T and ran back into the theatre.  She was unusually grateful, which made me believe her kidneys may have actually been hurting.  And while I loved the movie and cried at the end, afterwards I was still thinking about the “too early for candy” comment.  Seriously, who the hell are we trying to kid?  There is no good time for candy and yet children want it ALL THE TIME.  And doughnuts – they’d eat them for breakfast, lunch and dinner.  Cupcakes?  “Okay, Mom, I’ll have four if that’s alright with you, right after I eat my piece of pizza.”  “Let’s skip the broccoli tonight, Ma.  You served some last month.”

We come up with appropriate times of the day for certain foods to be eaten as a means of survival for little varmints who ask questions like “why do I have to brush my teeth every day?” or “why can’t I jump off the roof into the pool?” But let’s be real.  A lot of the time, the reasons we give our children for why they shouldn’t or can’t do something is suspect.  How many times have we fed them muffins in the morning but told them they couldn’t eat leftover birthday cake?  Aren’t muffins just cake without icing?  And some of them have a glaze on top that suspiciously tastes like frosting, don’t you think?  And scones?  Do you know what scones are made of?  Flour, sugar, heavy cream and butter.

My sister makes an unbelievable chocolate chip scone but you may as well be eating a Tollhouse cookie.  Croissants?  I think there’s a pound of butter in each one, which must be why I spread more butter on top and add raspberry jam.  Banana bread is banana cake.

But I will not allow my children any candy before the five o’clock cocktail hour, unless it’s the weekend, when it’s any time after 2pm because everyone knows Skittles don’t have the same effect on Saturday and Sunday as they do during the week.

“Here, Goldie, have some Cap’n Crunch to start your day.”

Meg Whitman.

There are myriad reasons to vote and to pay careful attention to the candidate for whom you’re voting.  At the very least, it gives you the right to complain afterwards, especially if the person you chose didn’t win.

Looking at November, here are just two examples I’d like to bring to your attention that illustrate the kind of people who run for office and often win, because they have either too much money in their coffers or voters aren’t doing their homework, or both.

Martha Dean is the GOP candidate in Connecticut for state attorney general.  Recently, she said this regarding her decision to advocate for firearm training in schools, scouts, camps and elsewhere: “…we teach sex education in school, yet we omit the most basic skill needed to exercise fundamental constitutional rights.”  In the same speech, she wonders why the government thinks they only have the right to own modern weapons and the people get the antiquated ones.  Huh?  Dean promises to stop any law from passing that attempts to make distinctions between different types of weapons that an individual may possess, because the Constitution doesn’t make distinctions.  SEMI-AUTOMATIC WEAPONS DID NOT EXIST IN 1787!  If they did, the framers probably would have made a distinction!  If the framers were alive today, I’m sure they’d apologize for the vague and confusing language they used when writing the 2^nd Amendment.  If they were alive, they’d probably shake their heads at Martha Dean and say, “No, no, no.  That’s not what we meant AT ALL.”  Can you imagine the public schools today being required to teach children how to use a firearm?  Just after they’re taught about how a baby is made?  If people in Connecticut don’t pay attention when they’re voting, this woman could be their attorney general.  Don’t take my word for it.  Check out her speech on YouTube.

Meg Whitman is running for governor of California.  Before I go on let me say, though it will come as no surprise to anyone who reads my site regularly, that I’m left of center.  However, regarding the state in which I live, I would vote for Donald Duck of the Quack Party if I thought he could fix what ails us, namely the fact that we’re broke.  But the GOP’s Whitman?  I just think she’s icky.  Her voting record over the course of her adult life is practically non-existent.  Her excuses – busy raising the family, working, moving around a lot – doesn’t cut it.  It takes almost no time to register to vote.  Actually going to the polls on election day not only feels good, it’s our duty.  Anyone who is so uninterested in being a part of something so important, who suddenly decides politics is where it’s at, is suspect at best.  People keep asking her about this and guess what?  She’s tired of answering the question because she’s not an idiot.  She knows there is no good answer.  But she did answer questions about a confrontation involving an underling at Ebay in 2007 by dismissing it as simply a “verbal dispute.”  Problem is, those wacky folks over at the New York Times discovered that wasn’t quite true.  On Thursday, Whitman admitted that, yes, there was physical contact.  There was a verbal disagreement and “I actually…you know, escorted her out of the room…” after which the subordinate, Young Mi Kim, complained.  There was a settlement from which Kim received a purported $200,000.  Whitman condescends, acting as if we’re all too stupid to recognize that her attitude towards us is patronizing.  That just gets my Irish up.

Thoughtful voting.  Consider the alternative.

I almost had it.

The world: Faisal Shahzad tried to blow up his car in Times Square last week.  Fifty-three hours later, sitting on a plane headed for the United Arab Emirates, U.S. authorities nabbed him.  I don’t know about you, but I thought the whole thing was pretty cool.  Not the near explosion in NYC, but the speed at which they got the guy.  Some have complained that Shahzad (Shazaam!) never should’ve gotten as far as the plane or been Mirandized, ever, but those people bum me out.  Besides, even after being advised that anything he says can and will be used against him, Attorney General Eric Holder Jr. reports that they can’t shut the guy up.

It was confirmed that the Pakistani Taliban was connected somehow to the bombing.  They’re angry about those predator drones we keep sending in that occasionally miss their targets resulting in collateral damage.  I understand the anger.  Unfortunately, trying to kill and maim innocents in Times Square makes us even angrier, which means we’ll probably increase our drone campaign.  It’s a lose-lose.

Britain voted Thursday for a new Parliament and Prime Minister and ended up with neither.  Their election season was unique after televised debates (a la America) between the three candidates produced a “winner” in Nicholas Clegg.  Clegg comes from the “always a bridesmaid, never a bride” Liberal Democratic party.  He’s young, handsome, articulate – in direct contrast to Labour’s Gordon Brown – but not so much to the Conservative Tories’ David Cameron.  In the end, Brits got scared or as suggested, young Clegg fans didn’t show up at the polls, and the Lib Dems ended up Thursday night with less support than they had in the last election.  But neither Labour nor the Tories came up with the magic number of 326 seats and so, for the first time in 36 years, England ended up with a “hung Parliament”.

Nick Clegg, sensing a fleeting opportunity, threw a kind of support beam out to Cameron stating that the Conservatives earned the right to form a government.  Cameron then sniffed a victory of sorts and tossed a bone to Clegg and may have whispered the word “coalition”.  Brown is totally bummed because he really liked living at 10 Downing Street and it appears he’ll be moving out shortly.  It’s wacky, but then “wacky” is the new normal.

A similar situation is unfolding in Iraq, albeit in a more drawn out way.  Current Prime Minster Nouri Maliki and former P.M. Iyad Allawi failed to obtain a majority in their elections in March.  In what many (including me) see as a power grab, Maliki is questioning voting results (which initially favored Allawi) and then questioning the validity of a recount of those votes.  He’s extended his own hand to third party guy Ibrahim Jafar and it looks as if they’ll form a coalition government, pissing off secular Shiite Allawi and who knows how many others.  It’s unsettling, to say the least.

And then there’s Greece, which has a Prime Minister in George Papandreou but no money to pay its bills.  European friends like Germany and France, as well as the International Monetary Fund, are bailing them out, but austerity measures have been put in place and Grecians are MAD AS HELL!  No joke.  Firebombs have been launched, protests have erupted, and three people have been killed so far.  The economies of Spain and Portugal are teetering, global stock markets are freaking out, and the world might want to consider living more within our means.  Just a thought.

Nigeria’s leader died Wednesday; they buried him Thursday, and swore in their new leader, Goodluck Jonathan, shortly thereafter.  That’s right.  Goodluck Jonathan.  We wish him well.

The nation: BP’s oil spill off the coast of Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama and Florida continues to spread.  Suggestions on how to contain it are coming in from everywhere, including hair salons.  The theory?  Hair soaks up oil.  Why not fill nylon sacks with hair and try that around the perimeter of the spill?  Not a lot of good news coming out of the Gulf waters.

But good news coming out of Arizona.  They’re getting rid of those highway speed cameras that clock illegal immigrants going 75pmh in a 55mph zone.  That’s something, right?  Of course they’re replacing them with facial recognition/racial profiling cameras instead.  (I made that last part up.)

Some Obama haters were foaming at the mouth because there’s a chance there will be no National Day of Prayer next year or ever.  Once again, get your facts straight.  Obama and the White House are appealing a Wisconsin federal judge’s ruling last month that decided the observance is unconstitutional.  President Obama wants us all to take a day and pray, to whomever or whatever we choose.  I’m thinking this country (the world) needs all the prayers it can get right now.

Today marks the 65^th anniversary of V-E Day (Victory in Europe, May 8, 1945) when Germany’s surrender was finally ratified in Berlin.  Over 400,000 US soldiers died during the course of the war, not to mention the millions who perished worldwide.  I’ve been watching HBO’s “The Pacific”, chronicling the fight to stop Japan during WWII, and I am humbled, shocked, fascinated and saddened by events that happened in my parents’ lifetime.  It’s worth taking a moment today to think about.

The arts: At Christies’ Auction House in New York on Tuesday, I just missed getting the Picasso painting, “Nude, Green Leaves and Bust”, when I was outbid by an unknown collector, who walked off with it at the last minute for $106.5 million.  I’ve since commissioned Bun Bun to paint her own masterpiece I want titled “Partially Naked, Orange Blossoms and Saggy Bags of Flesh”.  I told her I’d give her ten bucks.

The Tony Award nominations came out this past week with the usual list of nominees for plays and musicals that have already closed for lack of an audience.  Up for best show, “In the Next Room or the Vibrator Play”.  The Tonys will air on CBS June 13^th at 8pm.

“Babies” opens this weekend.  Did that have to do with Mother’s Day, I wonder?  After watching the trailer, I can’t resist seeing the movie.

“American Idol”. Finally, we’re down to the four who really matter, in my humble, Crystal Bowersox-loving opinion.  Harry Connick as the mentor was fabulous and adorable and I want him back next season if, in fact, I watch it past the May 26^th finale.

Sports: the NBA Playoff picture – the Lakers are up 2-0 in their series against Utah and play tonight at 5:15pm PST.  Phoenix is up 3-0 against San Antonio and play Sunday at 5:15pm PST.  Cleveland leads the series against Boston 2-1 and play again Sunday at 12:30pm PST.  Orlando leads in their series, 2-0, over Atlanta and play today at 2pm PST.

Enjoy the rest of Saturday.

Mars and Venus.

I noticed this morning, during my run in the Santa Monica mountains with my buddy Jeff, that regardless of which male friend I’m running with, despite my conditioning, whether or not I’m in superior shape, I am always a step or two behind.  I chalk it up to the male ego, even as I’m not certain they’re always aware of what they’re doing.  Alas, my 76-year-old friend, Ron, while unable to keep up with me on the incline, will charge past me on the way down.  I stopped competing with men a long time ago (because what’s the point?) and I’m old enough to simply be who I am in the presence of men (like it or not) – but with three daughters, I find myself more aware of the gender game.  (Is it a game?)

Like many of my posts, I’ve got a book in me on this subject, not because I am indignant about it, but because it fascinates me.  I married a man who has no issue with allowing me to drive if he’s had a few beers (I think being a permanent designated driver is why he married me) but too many of my women friends cannot say the same.  He embraced my decision to be the contractor on our home addition two years ago.  Not all husbands would be comfortable with that arrangement.  And yet I think it bothers him that I’m a better skier, even though I’ve been at it longer.  I’m more than capable of opening my own doors and carrying my own packages, but I want him to, or any man in the near vicinity.  How does that make any sense at all?  It doesn’t.  I don’t know what any of this means in the grand scheme of raising our daughters – but I think about it all the time.  I thought about it today, trailing Jeff.

By the way, my husband will be at least thirty minutes ahead of me next Sunday during the marathon.  He’s that much faster than I, and that’s okay.

Sunday run: my left foot

It’s nothing like Christy Brown’s.  I could barely run on it today three-quarters into my journey, much less type this post with it.  At fifteen miles, with five to go, I had to stop and tighten the laces on my left shoe within an inch of their life because I wasn’t carrying tape with me or a handful of Advil.  I was afraid I had a stress fracture and cursed my lot in life, though quickly came to my senses and found some perspective.  How many little twinges of pain had I experienced during a run?  How many had mysteriously worked themselves out during the course of the run?  Most of them, so I decided this was no different.  Honestly, it hurt until the end, but as soon as I stopped running back in front of my house, things felt just fine.  After a hot shower, I was good as new, or as new as someone my age feels after running twenty-one miles.

About an hour after I got home, I took Miss T to a party about twenty-one miles north, in Valencia.  I drive too fast and was there in about fifteen minutes.  It took me well over three hours today to run that distance.  I’m thinking that maybe Danica Patrick should be my role model and not Rosa Mota.

G’night.