Friday fodder: ducks, seldom in a row
4 May 2012
It’s always surprising when someone assumes I have all my ducks in a row. I’m not sure what I convey to certain individuals that they’d think this. Most of my friends know the truth – that I’m as scattered as the next person, happy to get through the day without spinach in my teeth, with children lucky to have clean sheets once or twice a year month. Seriously, who are those people living with nary a dust bunny? Whose computer cords beneath their desks are not tangled? Whose food never gets green and hairy in the back of the fridge? Who has never picked out a French fry from in between the car seats? Who’s never paid a late fee? Who’s ready at a moment’s notice to get into a swimsuit? Who’s never worn a pair of blown-out underwear? Who changes their wiper blades regularly? Creases in their jeans, retirement savings, they never run out of milk. I ask you, who are these people?!
They are not I.
I’m the type of person who encourages her nine-year-old daughter to take care of the fish and their tank but rarely insists and never threatens. This approach often leaves me with stinky socks all over the house, backpacks left on the floor so as to break someone’s neck, lights left on, dogs that occasionally go hungry, dirty school uniforms pulled out and ironed from the hamper, burnt toast that needs scraping, shelves that need organizing, a two-car garage that only fits one, and a stinky partridge in a rotting pear tree. The beds are made and there’s rarely a dirty dish in the sink, but I’m hardly Type-A. I’m a B minus, tops.
From time to time I get a wild hair, which sometimes results in the appearance of ducks in a row, but it’s a smoke screen. And honestly, my ducks are, on occasion, fish – like yesterday, when I decided to save them from an abbreviated life in the murky waters that was their home. I even cleaned and put back their furniture.
Tell me, what’s hiding in your closet? What remains, day after day, month after month, on the top of your to-do list?
It’s always surprising when someone assumes I have all my ducks in a row. I’m not sure what I convey to certain individuals that they’d think this. Most of my friends know the truth – that I’m as scattered as the next person, happy to get through the day without spinach in my teeth, with children lucky to have clean sheets once or twice a year month. Seriously, who are those people living with nary a dust bunny? Whose computer cords beneath their desks are not tangled? Whose food never gets green and hairy in the back of the fridge? Who has never picked out a French fry from in between the car seats? Who’s never paid a late fee? Who’s ready at a moment’s notice to get into a swimsuit? Who’s never worn a pair of blown-out underwear? Who changes their wiper blades regularly? Creases in their jeans, retirement savings, they never run out of milk. I ask you, who are these people?!
They are not I.
I’m the type of person who encourages her nine-year-old daughter to take care of the fish and their tank but rarely insists and never threatens. This approach often leaves me with stinky socks all over the house, backpacks left on the floor so as to break someone’s neck, lights left on, dogs that occasionally go hungry, dirty school uniforms pulled out and ironed from the hamper, burnt toast that needs scraping, shelves that need organizing, a two-car garage that only fits one, and a stinky partridge in a rotting pear tree. The beds are made and there’s rarely a dirty dish in the sink, but I’m hardly Type-A. I’m a B minus, tops.
From time to time I get a wild hair, which sometimes results in the appearance of ducks in a row, but it’s a smoke screen. And honestly, my ducks are, on occasion, fish – like yesterday, when I decided to save them from an abbreviated life in the murky waters that was their home. I even cleaned and put back their furniture.
Tell me, what’s hiding in your closet? What remains, day after day, month after month, on the top of your to-do list?
Actually putting my wedding pictures in an album…hanging artwork and pictures around the house (what’s up now has carefully been placed where I found nails upon moving in)…cleaning out the garage…oh, how I could go on! Today I’m just grateful your fish are still alive
I have one closet full of books and another full of clothes I should donate. Some day.
As much as I have genuine honesty with friends about the travails of life such as it is, we NEVER talk about how often we wash bed sheets. I feel lightheaded and giddy… thank you!
blown-out underwear = hilarious!
Is the fish in that bottom photo smiling?
blown-out underwear = GENIUS!
My closet runneth over (literally)- right now I am searching high and low for Sean’s football jersey. I have convinced myself that my lack of total organization is teaching my children important life skills of flexibility and adaptability…though my daughter claims she is scarred for life because she had to wear her brother’s Spiderman underwear on vacation when she was three and I forgot to pack her Dora underwear.
I just paid a $25 late fee on my j.jill account. This after spending tons of time on their website making sure I got the best sale price, used the right coupon code, and my credit card to get another 5% off. Then I throw the credit card statement in a pile and say, “oh, I’ll pay that next week”, which turned into next month. Agghhh!
I have junk drawer in my bathroom that contains, among other things, a curling iron I haven’t used in 20+ years. Never enough time to get to that drawer and others.