Setting examples/programming the remote
30 January 2013
This should have been my Monday motherhood post but I’m still experiencing a tremendous case of not-getting-things-done-because-I-don’t-care syndrome. It’s something different every day. Mom’s birthday was last Friday. I cleaned up the desk a few days ago and came across the last card she wrote to Miss T in November. Harry the cat has disappeared. As Roseanne Roseannadanna would say, “It’s always something.” I’ve told friends it’s like experiencing the aftershocks that came with the 1994 Northridge earthquake. You don’t know when they’ll arrive or how long you’ll feel them.
Back to the motherhood post I didn’t write. I think 85% of good parenting is
That's not my hand.
achieved subconsciously, mostly by the actions our children see us take. Case in point: programming a Logitech Harmony 900 radio frequency universal remote. (Wait, did you just nod off?) Side note: how is it that Caltech and JPL engineers can control a rover on Mars, but operating home entertainment components behind a solid wood cabinet is frowned upon because of its complexity? Anyhow, after purchasing said remote for $250, one can hire the Geek Squad to program it for an additional $150. (Which is what we did four years ago when we put the system in.) For that amount of money, a new television could be purchased to replace the one in the playroom that’s just this side of black-and-white. I decided to program the damn thing myself (because the old one died).
Stay with me. I’ll try and be brief. The Logitech people included a software disc in their package, which I promptly downloaded as Step One. Failure. I walked away for an afternoon to deal with soccer and came back, dug around the Logitech website, and realized the software was incompatible with my laptop’s operating system. Downloaded correct software from the internet, began process, SUCCESS. Glitch number two was four steps later. Glitch number three came right at the end. Tweak this, move that. Badda badda bing. Two-and-a-half hours in, remote programmed. I didn’t give up when the going got tough, saved a small bunch of money.
Down the road, one of my girls is going to face the same conundrum. Does she hire someone to do a difficult job she could do herself, like teaching her child to ride a two-wheeler (people actually pay others to do this for them*), or does she stand up straight, take a breath, and think, “I could spend that $150 at Brandy Melville instead”? She’ll remember me sitting in the den with wires everywhere, a large instruction sheet, and my laptop, and realize that if a fifty-year-old who still uses the word ‘hip’ could achieve what many have deemed impossible, she too can attempt complex problems and afterwards bask in the glow of accomplishment. (There’s actually been no outward basking. No one seems to give a shit about the remote – but inside, I know what I’ve done.)
My point: be brave. Let your children witness your brevity. It will probably make a difference down the road.
Three more things:
- 1) For the past twenty-five years or so, there’s been a real shift in the confident use of proper pronouns after a preposition (alliteration has fallen out of favor, too). Just this morning at a meeting, I said, “Their success is as much about him and me as it is about the school.” And while I didn’t hear an audible gasp, I worried that someone in the room thought I’d spoken incorrectly. Objective pronouns have taken a real beating since the mid-eighties – in contrast to their perceived superior cousin, the subjective pronoun – and I’d like to encourage all of us, again, to be brave. Just because the phrase “between me and her” sounds funky, doesn’t mean it is. Respect the preposition by correctly using objective pronouns after. Let’s start a trend.
- 2) I try and bring in my own bags to Trader Joe’s. Each time I do, I fill out the little raffle ticket in the hopes of winning the $25 in free groceries. I’ve done this thousands of times and never won and now believe the whole thing is a hoax. Anyone? Thoughts?
- 3) New York Times columnist Gail Collins always included Seamus, the Irish setter, in articles she wrote about Mitt Romney. (Seamus was the dog on the roof of Mitt’s car.) Until Washington passes better and more thoughtful gun control measures, I’m going to include a link in all of my posts to someone, somewhere who has a real voice and/or vote on this issue so that you’ll contact him or her and we’ll make progress in reducing the number of senseless gun deaths that occur every day in this country. Today: send a note to Dan Coats, R-Indiana. Make it emotional because this IS an emotional issue. Less guns means less killing. It’s math – the kind of arithmetic that matters to innocent moviegoers in a theatre watching a film, or kindergarten students in a classroom learning to read.
* I pawned my children off on friends who taught them how to ride two-wheelers. They simply didn’t want me around. (Thanks Debra Jo; you pointed this out. Thanks Lisa; you made it happen.)
This should have been my Monday motherhood post but I’m still experiencing a tremendous case of not-getting-things-done-because-I-don’t-care syndrome. It’s something different every day. Mom’s birthday was last Friday. I cleaned up the desk a few days ago and came across the last card she wrote to Miss T in November. Harry the cat has disappeared. As Roseanne Roseannadanna would say, “It’s always something.” I’ve told friends it’s like experiencing the aftershocks that came with the 1994 Northridge earthquake. You don’t know when they’ll arrive or how long you’ll feel them.
Back to the motherhood post I didn’t write. I think 85% of good parenting is
That's not my hand.
achieved subconsciously, mostly by the actions our children see us take. Case in point: programming a Logitech Harmony 900 radio frequency universal remote. (Wait, did you just nod off?) Side note: how is it that Caltech and JPL engineers can control a rover on Mars, but operating home entertainment components behind a solid wood cabinet is frowned upon because of its complexity? Anyhow, after purchasing said remote for $250, one can hire the Geek Squad to program it for an additional $150. (Which is what we did four years ago when we put the system in.) For that amount of money, a new television could be purchased to replace the one in the playroom that’s just this side of black-and-white. I decided to program the damn thing myself (because the old one died).
Stay with me. I’ll try and be brief. The Logitech people included a software disc in their package, which I promptly downloaded as Step One. Failure. I walked away for an afternoon to deal with soccer and came back, dug around the Logitech website, and realized the software was incompatible with my laptop’s operating system. Downloaded correct software from the internet, began process, SUCCESS. Glitch number two was four steps later. Glitch number three came right at the end. Tweak this, move that. Badda badda bing. Two-and-a-half hours in, remote programmed. I didn’t give up when the going got tough, saved a small bunch of money.
Down the road, one of my girls is going to face the same conundrum. Does she hire someone to do a difficult job she could do herself, like teaching her child to ride a two-wheeler (people actually pay others to do this for them*), or does she stand up straight, take a breath, and think, “I could spend that $150 at Brandy Melville instead”? She’ll remember me sitting in the den with wires everywhere, a large instruction sheet, and my laptop, and realize that if a fifty-year-old who still uses the word ‘hip’ could achieve what many have deemed impossible, she too can attempt complex problems and afterwards bask in the glow of accomplishment. (There’s actually been no outward basking. No one seems to give a shit about the remote – but inside, I know what I’ve done.)
My point: be brave. Let your children witness your brevity. It will probably make a difference down the road.
Three more things:
- 1) For the past twenty-five years or so, there’s been a real shift in the confident use of proper pronouns after a preposition (alliteration has fallen out of favor, too). Just this morning at a meeting, I said, “Their success is as much about him and me as it is about the school.” And while I didn’t hear an audible gasp, I worried that someone in the room thought I’d spoken incorrectly. Objective pronouns have taken a real beating since the mid-eighties – in contrast to their perceived superior cousin, the subjective pronoun – and I’d like to encourage all of us, again, to be brave. Just because the phrase “between me and her” sounds funky, doesn’t mean it is. Respect the preposition by correctly using objective pronouns after. Let’s start a trend.
- 2) I try and bring in my own bags to Trader Joe’s. Each time I do, I fill out the little raffle ticket in the hopes of winning the $25 in free groceries. I’ve done this thousands of times and never won and now believe the whole thing is a hoax. Anyone? Thoughts?
- 3) New York Times columnist Gail Collins always included Seamus, the Irish setter, in articles she wrote about Mitt Romney. (Seamus was the dog on the roof of Mitt’s car.) Until Washington passes better and more thoughtful gun control measures, I’m going to include a link in all of my posts to someone, somewhere who has a real voice and/or vote on this issue so that you’ll contact him or her and we’ll make progress in reducing the number of senseless gun deaths that occur every day in this country. Today: send a note to Dan Coats, R-Indiana. Make it emotional because this IS an emotional issue. Less guns means less killing. It’s math – the kind of arithmetic that matters to innocent moviegoers in a theatre watching a film, or kindergarten students in a classroom learning to read.
* I pawned my children off on friends who taught them how to ride two-wheelers. They simply didn’t want me around. (Thanks Debra Jo; you pointed this out. Thanks Lisa; you made it happen.)
“I think 85% of good parenting is achieved subconsciously, mostly by the actions our children see us take.”
I don’t have kids and I’ve always thought this. I’ve never understood why, for example, parents don’t understand that “don’t lie” doesn’t work when they see mom or dad do that very thing to avoid say dinner with someone they really don’t want to see.
The Darien, CT Trader Joe’s has been doing the raffle for about 3 or 4 years. I’ve never won, and have not met anyone who has won either. The hoax idea has crossed my mind, yet I still fill out that darn raffle ticket. I guess its my own personal hell.
I sure hope you’re right about the parenting cuz my upfront game is not so hot most days… I feel better about the stuff I hope they’re noticing… cudos to you for the remote whether or not your girls took notice. and it’s not about the money either… you know exactly what I mean – i.e., self-respect, competency, challenging yourself, etc. good for you! (I would never attempt it…)
I’m peeved when I hear, “Her and I went to the movies.” Aaaahhh! Drives me crazy!
I firmly believe a parent’s example is more effective than a do/do not list.
One time, I won the weekly raffle in Irvine, when I shopped while visiting my parents. Never, ever won in Burbank. Good luck with that one!
We spent about 4 hours programming our Harmony remote when we bought it several years ago – one of the more frustrating experiences of my marriage. It lasted about 3 weeks before one of the dogs destroyed it. We ended up going through the same thing when we replaced it. The third time back the guy at Best Buy told us that our experience was common “as the remote holds the family’s scent and is attractive to the dogs when we are away”. We went back to the 3 different cheapy remotes to run everything – no more problems. Somehow the dogs must feel a $30 remote isn’t as attractive.
Dear Joanne,
I too love your thought…“I think 85% of good parenting is achieved subconsciously, mostly by the actions our children see us take.”
I know immediately, when I am objective enough to observe, where most/ many of Julia’s broad range of responses or reactions come from. I cringe or smile when I observe either her critical edginess or her tender-hearted sensitivity, and all of responses in between. It can be humbling or a great big ‘whew’. Yep, parents sure do influence their children in a fundamental way by imparting lessons to them! For better (hopefully) or worse (shudder), so it’s best to stay conscious around those precious minds.
I just love your writing and wisdom and will try to read the daily cup of Jo more often, Miss Jo. xoxoxox